MARCUS CHEN & DEBORAH, June 2016
“I’m going to stay at my daughter’s,” Deborah said. “Every other weekend.”
Marcus Chen Nianzhen stopped eating.
For a few moments, you could only hear the waves of the Pacific through the French windows in the dining hall.
Marcus rubbed his nose. “I thought we agreed that you could go there during your grandchildren’s summer holidays.”.
“We did,” Deborah said, “but I think it’s better if I go regularly, at least for now. Carrie and Jon are close to the breaking point, and so is their marriage.”
“Is it that bad—between them?”
“Believe me, I know.”
Marcus looked at his plate. “I wonder … aren’t you happy with the improvements I have made here?” He glanced at the ocean. “I paused the courses. There will be no more stories in the Times even if they are all nonsense.”
“Yes, you did,” Deborah said.” A pity about those rotten facilitators …”
“I have been too busy with the company,” Marcus said. “I really thought that HR would take care of it, but apparently Johnston’s in the middle of a divorce and, well …. But I have stopped it all now.”
“I’m sorry it … had to come to this,” she said. “I know quantum self-development is your life project …”
“Our project.”
She looked down.
He cleared his throat. “People can still meet informally in the church here in LA and I’m looking at some new possibilities in New Orleans, but we’ll have to see. The accounts will have to come out of the red first.”
“Well, that’s good,” Deborah said. “It’s unfair that you had to do that but it will give … some relief.”
Marcus sighed. “I’m spending too much time at HQ.”
“You’ve had a hard time with the board and everything …” she said quickly.
“But you’re still going to fly to Yuma every other weekend.” Marcus folded his hands under his chin, leaning both his elbows on the table.
Deborah’s voice was thin. “I’ve got to do something. Carrie can’t handle both Michael and Emma alone, when Jonathan has to work for both of them.”
“We are helping,” Marcus said quietly.
Deborah shook her head. “You know how easily an autistic child gets stressed. Michael has almost stopped eating. He needs calm, predictability, not a new nanny every six weeks when the youngsters get better ideas about how to earn a buck.” She crossed her arms.
Marcus regarded her in silence.
“It’s very serious for them,” Deborah continued. “And I’m just sitting here doing nothing.”
“I thought you didn’t want to teach anymore,” Marcus said. “Your painting …”
“It’s not about that!” Deborah pulled her chair away from the table.
Outside, there were a couple of windsurfers trying to negotiate waves the size of houses. Otherwise, the beach was empty. So was the horizon.
“Then help me understand what it’s about …” Marcus began. “We’re doing a lot for them.”
Deborah opened the French window fully.
“I thought,” she said slowly, “Carrie explained to you how … difficult it is to change anything for them when you asked if you could buy Emma’s school to stop the bullying.”
“That was a joke, Qīn’ài de.”
Marcus stressed the term of endearment in his native Chinese. “I am fully aware of what it takes to help your grandchildren. And Caroline.”
“But why do you have a problem with me going there five days a month, so maybe Jon and Carrie can have 10 percent of their life back?”
“I don’t have a problem with it.”
“Then why do you keep second-guessing my decision?”
“I don’t.”
“Good.”
Marcus stood up, too. “I have to get back to the office, Qīn’ài de. But call me before you go to the airport, yes? I’ll send my driver.”
I can drive myself, Deborah thought.
“That would be lovely.” She went over to put her arms around him. “I’ll see you soon.”
When she had left, Marcus sat down on the window sill.
He watched the Pacific for a long time.
Then he called up the email he had been writing on his phone before dinner:
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from: chen.nianzhen@ddsystems.com
to: misscarraway@gmail.com
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Dear Caroline,
I’m grateful that you trust me enough now to want to try out the Quantum Spirit Confidence course.
Remember, there are no obligations. As everything is online only now I’m sending you a coupon for free access to this course.
By now you know what I went through after those grievous losses long ago and how I discovered how to rebuild a life even under extreme duress. It has been a decade-long journey for me and I still have a long way to go.
But to summarize:
The keys to your inner peace are
- the heart
- the soul
- and your material world.
This course is about identifying and balancing each aspect.
I am painfully aware by now how constrained you are concerning the material because your child can only handle a certain amount of stress, so even if you could hire all the autism coaches in the world, it would not be of any use. I heard you had taken up drawing again, even though those constraints are there again. They will probably be there for the foreseeable future, and I wish it was different.
So believe me when I say I hope that you gain just a little bit to nourish your soul from this course.
It is designed to give people who are under real stress a break and build their mental strength by training in positive thinking, in little increments each day.
Then you can better hold on until your son gets better. No matter how long it takes. It all adds up.
Fitness training, persistence, and gradual buildup are the way to physical strength. It’s about not putting too much on your weight at once. So it is with mental training.
Let me know what you think about all of this.
Marcus
Marcus bit his lip.
The rest of the inbox was brimming with messages about the Church’s ailing financial situation and the hit pieces in the L.A. Times.
Most importantly, there were another slew of mails about the big software order from the California state government which, he hoped, would shut up the last nay-sayers about his position as CEO in DD Systems.
The order hadn’t been finalized yet, but it was close.
Marcus hesitated a few more seconds.
Then he deleted the email for Carrie.
I still have a long journey ahead of me, he thought.
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52-120424
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Cover photo by Sunguk Kim on Unsplash
Villa photo by Durian Bullet on Unsplash
Asian man by Gettys Images via Unsplash+ License
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Song: Loreena McKennitt – “Never-Ending Road (Amhrán Duit)”
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Chris recommends
The story that introduced Marcus Chen, his company, Church and the bad press about both.
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Thanks for reading! Feel free to share your thoughts, comments or experiences!
Comments
One response to “Confidence in Spirit”
Sorry for the late commentary but these last days have been atrocious. My son has been at his most difficult, little sleep, the worst fight with my spouse in a couple of years and, well, today the Copenhagen Stock Exchange is in flames. Looks like it’s going to be an interesting week …
Anyway, I sat on this story for some days, too, because I wasn’t sure if it should have a different ending, but I kind of like it where it is. Marcus Chen is trying but still has problems understanding ‘ordinary lives’. Carrie is also trying to accomodate her stepfather, perhaps a sign of how truly desperate she is on the homefront. I might want to explore that further soon, but I also have tons of ideas for other stories.
Like the poor venerable stock exchange, though, my daily schedule more often than not just goes up in flames. But I will get to these stories. Believe that.
Be careful out there,
Chris