It was one of those days when I promised myself I’d stay super focused to conserve the little energy I had. As a special needs parent, energy is scarce, and you have to scrounge for every bit of it. When you finally get five minutes, you don’t want to waste it doomscrolling or zoning out. But of course, I blew it.
It’s like making an agreement with yourself that when you have a moment, you’ll relax, meditate, go for a walk in nature, call a friend, or maybe draw something. But then your brain goes, “Forget that, let’s see what new bull Donald Trump said today and who’s mad about it.” Just like when you have time to exercise, but you think, “Nah, I’ll just take it easy and grab a Coke instead.”
I’ve been told that we’re hardwired for survival, always looking for rest or comfort. But it hollows out our lives when we get trapped—whether it’s by family, work, or the general overwhelm of day-to-day life. The way out of that trap is to focus on creating meaningful moments. Use your energy to rest properly, instead of filling your mind with junk that makes you feel hopeless and confused. That’s what you should do. Hear me?
Now get out of here while I check how far ahead Hillary is in the polls before I do laundry and pick up Michael from school. A little self-indulgent distraction can’t hurt when it’s about a surefire victory … right?
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CARRIE, early Oct 2016
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SHADE OF the Morning Sun: STORIES – main characters:
Carrie Sawyer Reese – (born: Caroline McDonnell) – recovering addict, searching artist, special-needs-mom in training, and Scottish exile in the U.S. of A.
Jonathan Reese – Carrie’s no-nonsense husband, state trooper and Iraq veteran, fighting to keep his family together and his PTSD in check
Emma Reese – Carrie and Jon’s ten-year-old daughter, dreams of a better future, self-appointed protector of her autistic little brother
Michael Reese – Carrie and Jon’s seven-year-old neurodivergent son, can’t talk much but often calls attention to parts of the world that nobody else notices
Deborah Sawyer Chen – Carrie’s ex-hippie rebel mother, New Age faith shopaholic and opinionated power-grandma
Marcus Chen Nianzhen – Carrie’s stepfather and Deborah’s second husband. Also millionaire IT businessman and founder of the Church Universal. The man who has everything, except peace of mind …
David Reese – Jon’s little brother, ex-car thief, chronically broken hearted, risking his life in the Sahel with the NGO World Life Health
Samuel Reese – Jon and Dave’s erratic father, self-avowed socialist, and fixer of your life
Calum McDonnell – Carrie’s father and Deborah’s first husband, Falklands veteran and ex-Highland Ranger, coming to grips with age and loneliness in far-away Scotland
Thanks to the fantastic photographers at Unsplash and their models. See a collection of all Unsplash photos used on this blog here.
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